Alternative Solutions

Learning to generate multiple solutions to a conflict is an essential part ot ICPS training. Children are more successful when they internalize the idea that there is always more than one way. In parent/child conflicts this can mean more than one way to do things, more than one place to put things, and more than one time to ask for something. Thinking in this way not only reduces tension between a parent and child, but it is also an important precursor to thinking of alternative solutions to interpersonal problems. Children learn to think, "If one idea doesn't work, I can try a different idea."

One thing you could do is to ask your child: "What can you do with water? Try to think of lots of different things." To expand the game add challenges like, "How many different things can you think of to do with a pencil, a pumpkin, etc.?"

Encourage your child to think of as many different ideas as he can. Practicing this as a game helps children get used to thinking along these lines. When conflicts do arise, the child's familiarity with this game in a playful setting helps them to apply the skill to resolve the conflict.